Lament'
by bluemonkeyape
Summary: The second chapter of the Cousland Arc.    Aurelia has survived the joining but as she recovers, she begins to doubt her loyalty to Duncan, until Alistair shows her the way.


Chapter Two 'Lament'

Aurelia struggled to keep her balance, her legs felt hollow and did not seem to be working properly. She staggered about, her vision also finding it hard to focus. In the blurred visage of her sight, she could just make out the dark shadowy silhouettes of Duncan and Alistair walking away from her, down the stone steps. They halted at the bottom and Duncan whispered faintly to Alistair. She strained her ears in a vain attempt to make out what they were saying but all her other senses overwhelmed her and she felt herself falling.

That was when her legs gave way and she sank on her knees, her armour making a loud, clunking noise as she hit the cold, stone floor. She felt dizzy and her head was spinning, her vision turned to black and instead her mind showed her Ser Jory and Daveth , each of their faces in death painted in terrifying fashion. Her stomach suddenly twisted violently and she found herself on her side, retching. When her stomach became a little calmer, she composed herself and turned around to prop her back against the stone wall of the ruined castle. As she looked up, she found Alistair standing in front of her, with a wet rag in one hand and a steaming goblet in the other. Behind him was the familiar panting of Echelon. He rushed to her and licked her face excitedly before he nestled his head into her lap and settled down, looking up at her with concern.

"Here" Alistair chuckled, as he passed each of the items to her and came to settle down beside her. "Wynne, from the Circle of Magi made this for me when I came out of my joining and although it is not my favourite beverage of choice, it certainly beats Darkspawn taint." She smiled faintly, and stuck her nose into the goblet, its smell was comforting and its taste was reviving. After a few sips, she soothed her face with the wet rag. She found its coolness refreshing and once she had finished, she stroked Echelon's strong head and he closed his eyes, persuaded that his master was now fine.

"Thank you Alistair", she whispered, "I feel much better now."

"It was my pleasure, I am just glad that you made it, it is always good to have another grey warden make it past the joining."

He smiled warmly and took the goblet from her. She looked around at the area where the joining had taken place and realised that whilst she had been unconscious, the bodies of Daveth and Ser Jory had been removed, almost as if they had never even existed, a falsehood of memory. All that remained of their presence was a faded red patch on the stone floor, where Ser Jory had fallen. Her stomach twinged painfully again and she looked away, daring not to gaze on the dark spot any further.

"Where are Ser Jory and Daveth now?" choked Aurelia, knowing Alistair would give her the answers she seeked.

He looked uncomfortable at first, as he struggled to find the right words but eventually he sighed and calmly answered. "They have been taken away and buried in the proper manner just behind the castle ruins, as befitting a Grey Warden. Even though they never made it, they still made the ultimate sacrifice. If you liked, I could… take you to them if you wished to pay your final respects to your fallen comrades before the battle?"

In truth, although she knew this would be a proper thing to do, she felt uneasy. Whilst they had been travelling, Aurelia had garnered a huge amount of respect for Duncan and although she had only known him for little more than a week, she had already looked up to him, his strength and skill as a swordsman greatly inspiring her. But all that rapport was now marred by the memory of Duncan slaying Ser Jory, right before her eyes, without hesitation or thought. It was this that troubled her the most and she found it a struggle to hold back the tears.

"I'm not sure if I'm really up to that just yet." She whispered, "I almost cannot believe it happened, especially Ser Jory… He was scared and he had every right to be. I just… cannot help but think Duncan acted too rashly."

As soon as she said it, she felt immediately foolish. Who was she to question Duncan's motives, especially to Alistair, who held him in such high regard? But as her gaze met his, he had the same troubled look on his face and that reassured her slightly.

He cleared his throat, his troubled eyes glued to the ground. "In all honesty Aurelia, I myself am troubled by Duncan's actions. It was… unlike him. But he has a duty to protect the secret of the joining and I believe it when he said that he did not take pleasure from killing Ser Jory. If Ser Jory had been allowed to live, he would have spread word of what the joining involved to other potential recruits and then where would the grey wardens be? No-one willingly joins an army where almost certain death is guaranteed. Each one of them would have fled before they even faced the joining and they would have had every right to do so."

Aurelia pondered this for a moment before she said, "I guess that makes…sense Although I hate to admit it." Alistair looked at her with sincerity and kindness and she instantly felt a warmth towards him.

"Both Ser Jory and Daveth were honourable men, willing to give their lives to the cause of the Grey Wardens. They were an example to many and they will not be forgotten. But you made it. You had the strength and will to overcome the taint and it has bonded with you. The Grey wardens will be proud to count you amongst their ranks and I for one, will be happy that there is another female in camp. Don't worry though, I will protect you from the wandering eyes of those other letches"

A cheeky glint appeared in Alistair's eyes and Aurelia laughed. The vibrations stirred Echelon from his sleep and he lazily got to his feet and bade his master to do the same. Finally, she felt ready to begin her journey and both Alistair and her rose from the floor. She looked up to the night sky, the day was quite late now and the stars were beginning to shine, like pinpricks on a black curtain.

"If you are ready, King Cailan has asked for your attendance at a meeting discussing something boring called strategy. Duncan will be there however, it is with much regret that I need to go and help prepare the other grey wardens for the upcoming battle. Try not to miss me to much"

He bade her a kind farewell and she watched as he walked away, a faint smirk lighting up her face. Little did she know that the same faint smirk was also on Alistair's face. 'Don't look back, she might be watching and you would end up looking like a fool if she caught you' he thought to himself as he made his way back to the army encampment.


End file.
